Have you ever heard the phrase “without darkness we wouldn’t see light” or “without the bad we couldn’t appreciate the good” etc.
Well I think it can be applied to this: “Without negativity we wouldn’t know positivity.”
Now bear with me I know people are probably thinking what the heck is this girl on about? I could quite easily end this whole article here but in order for me to help others, explanation is needed.
Negativity is a part of us. In terms of within us it’s the voice in the back of your head putting up a fight. Telling you that you can’t do something. Telling you that you’re not good enough. View it from a different view point and you may see it as the voice within you that’s making you fight. To prove it wrong.
Unfortunately there’s a few types of negativity. Another type is from society. Feeling judged. Looked down upon because you don’t agree with certain norms or values. Maybe simply because the top you’re wearing is so last season?
When we are faced with negativity it attacks us from within. Makes us question things that don’t need to be questioned. Contrary to the opening of this article, I’m not saying in any way it is a good thing. I’ve seen first-hand just the effects negativity can have on people and I know just how bad it can be.
The problem is when faced with negativity you lose vision. Any positivity you may have had starts to fade. Your confidence will slowly be eaten at and as a result wear away. You stop valuing yourself.
Now before I carry on any further I want to deal with the whole issue with value. As a human being, not valuing yourself is the cause of many issues. The moment you don’t see value in yourself is the moment you lose hope. And what made you not see value within yourself? It was the negativity you received. Any rude comment directed your way. Any unfriendly glance. Any time you’ve felt undervalued from others made you believe there’s no point in valuing yourself when others don’t. Well here’s the thing. F*** what other people think. We weren’t put on this earth to go around pleasing everyone else. We shouldn’t seek acceptance in a place we don’t belong.
This is where mind-set comes in. Recently I’ve began to study mind-set. I’ve become quite fascinated with it in fact.
When we come across a situation we often take it as it is. If someone tells you they don’t like your shirt, your mind agrees, their negativity seeps into you. You don’t like your shirt anymore.
It’s not our fault that this happens. It’s because gradually as we grew up we began to worry more. Worrying and negativity go hand in hand. What fascinated me is that if you viewed the situation from a completely different perspective or mind-set then you’re whole outlook on it would change and essentially the negativity you could have taken from it would be erased. When there’s no negativity all there can be is positivity.
It’s not easy to remember to change your mind-set on situations all the time. That’s because as humans we are affected very deeply by a strong force none of us can stop. Emotion.
Because of our emotions we will automatically get hurt sometimes. Some situations will be more sensitive than others. But that’s okay. We are only human after all. In fact sometimes negativity is a good thing. It helps us be bold. Speak out. Improve ourselves. Good negativity comes in forms of criticism. We need to learn to accept criticism. When I heard the word criticism I used to immediately think of it as a bad thing. It’d upset me. Then I changed my mind-set and now I understand it’s not a bad thing. It’s simply a form of advice or guidance. Accepting criticism makes you coachable. Being coachable is a step towards success in whatever you’re trying to achieve.
There is a limit though, to how much negativity we can take. It is when it starts eating you up that you need to step back and realise that it’s not okay. You shouldn’t feel that way. You shouldn’t let something like negativity hold that much power over yourself.
Negativity from society, in my mind, is never a good thing. It’s in those situations you need to change your mind-set. Negativity within you and inside your head is normal. That voice is within everyone’s head and it’s down to your determination to get rid of it. So are you determined? Do you want to always feel that you can’t do something simply because your mind told you so? Because someone 10 years ago told you so? Or because your dog’s friends moms neighbours chicken told you so?
Negativity is just a part of life we can overcome. It’s the effect of years of doubt and it’s time to get rid of it. It’s time to realise how much of a hold it has on you and realise your worth.
Here’s how we are going to work through it.
Firstly, William Greider said “Everyone’s values are defined by what they will tolerate when it is done to others.” This basically means that to eliminate negativity directed towards you, you need to eliminate it when directed to others. In other words, SPREAD POSITIVITY. When you’re feeling down, don’t let it affect others and make them feel down too. Make them laugh. That’s one of the easiest ways to spread positivity. The feeling of causing joy in someone else automatically reduces the negativity you feel.
Secondly, find yourself. Find your worth. Know your value. Make a list of all the good things in your life. Focus on doing the things that make you happy. Change your mind-set. Understand that no two people view a situation in the same way.
You wouldn’t like to be told what to do or how to live day in and day out would you? Letting negativity control you works in the same way.
Choose to find the positivity in everything and take back control of your life.